I have to be honest. "Vibrator week" is a tough act to follow. And starting the week with a 103 degree fever didn't help my creative process, so I have to thank all of you for rolling with the themeless, sexless, haphazard posting this week.
And, as usual, the comments were the best part. ;) I encourage you, as I always do, to go back and read them all because I dont have room to post them all here and some of the ones I don't highlight are still pretty awesome. Particularly some of the later vibrator comments. I know it can be hard to go back and read comments on old posts so the bar to the right ---> should show you which comments came in most recently. Funny Stuff.
Anyway, before I jump into this week's comments I'd like to mention that I have a post up over at www.supermomplace.com today. Please swing by and check it out here.
Also, the theme for next week is going to be MARRIED SEX. You know how sex changes once you're married, even though you swear it won't. Whether it becomes routine and boring or whether you're trying to fit it in between soccer practices in the back of the Sienna, start thinking about your stories. I can't wait to hear them!
My stories include a stint in the sex industry, Sunday morning breakfast in bed (if you know what I mean) and Blog reviews of your partners sexual performance. Should be fun!
Finally, despite the enormous popularity of last week's topic, my blog received significantly more views this week as a result of being tagged on Stumbleupon. If you're not familiar with it, Stumbleupon gives you the ability to tell it what types of things you're interested in and get a list of sites recommended by other people interested in the same thing. If you like my site and would like to recommend it to others, please click on the little blue/green icon to the right, under my picture. Thank you!
Here we go:
On the post, Back to Normal:
OK. With you on this one.
signed, Sarah P
Last night, the husband was rubbing my back and I said, "That feels nice. Thanks."
I fell asleep.
45 MINUTES LATER, I had to tell him to stop rubbing my buttocks. 45 MINUTES. It frigging tickled. I told him several times. I think he was trying to wake me up. He did. He's lucky I didn't clock him.
Kit: This, Sarah P, is exactly what I mean. Next time, you have my permission to clock him.
I would really like to know how all you people can even manage to have sex while kids are in the house. Even in the same neighborhood, for that matter. Specifically, 11 and 13 year olds who have the utter audacity to comment "the monkeys must have been visiting last night" while being driven to school. And we weren't even loud by any stretch of the imagination! Try not to steer into a ditch when you hear that one coming out of your little "sweetheart". I think I am still scarred.
signed, Suz
Kit: Suz, I'm glad you asked. Tune in next week for the trials and tribulations of coupling after marriage and children.
I was supposed to tell you that I snarfed milk, but I got distracted and started searching for vibrators. I keep hearing great things about one called The Cowboy, but I haven't tracked him down yet.
signed, Wendyly
Kit: Please let me know when you find him as I plan to puchase The Cowboy and send him to The Pioneer Woman, to see if he can give The Marlboro Man an run for his money, so to speak.
On the post, Dear Debilitating Bacterial Infection,
I would KILL to have a tapeworm for the same reason.
signed, Cass
Kit: Several other commenters offered their bodies as hosts to my plague in order to achieve the desired weight loss results. I will therefore be adding a "STORE" page to my blog over the coming week where you can buy UNREGULATED WEIGHTLOSS SUPPLEMENTS: sugar free & fat free. They may look suspiciously like a bottle of Poland Spring with a wad of spit in them. Screw Weight Watchers.
On the post, Dear Fire Department,
You should have an electrician come anyway... same thing happened to a friend and it turned out a rat (A RAT!!!) had chewed through wires in the wall. And they were lucky the place didn't burn down...
signed, Bee
Kit: Bee, in the future could you please to any rodents that may or may not be living in my house as a tiny mouse instead of RAT. Thank you.
On the post, Dear Kit,
UGH!!! That would make me so mad. It always drives me nuts when mothers send their kids places and they are sick. He was probably under the weather already but she didn't want him to miss the party. One mom at my preschool sent her son in this year when the whole family had the stomach bug. I could've killed her. My son puked in the car the very next day.
Keeping my fingers crossed that your little ones don't get Strep!
LOVE your blog!
signed, Themommyologist
Kit: Agreed! Thank you! And disease update, my oldest son IS now on penicilin for an ear infection that could be strep related. They didn't do a strep test after they saw the ear infection because they were writing the prescription regardless.
the stupid, it overfloweth
signed, furiousball
Kit: Perfectly precise.
lmfao! Last Saturday we went to a bday party.... the little boy who played with my son started coughing before we left.
I discretely asked his mother if he was sick and she answered "yeah, he was very sick with an ear infection Monday and Tuesday, on wednesday he got pink eye, and thursday I finally had the chance to take him to the doctor... poor thing he is so sick"WTF? why would you take your kid to a bday party if he is sick????
Her answer was "because we were very bored at home and I thought a little fresh air would be good" FML
signed, Yakalita
Kit: I might have punched this woman in the face. You should be commended for your restraint. Did you tell her that you don't find "fresh air" at a winter birthday party, you find it in the WOODS?
How the hell do you have time for Twitter with four kids? Do you sleep?
signed Sarah P
KIt: A little off-topic Sarah but a good question nonetheless. Answer: It is 12:31am, I will be in bed by 1 and up by 6:45, so YES, but NOT ENOUGH.
On the post Overheard,
I think you're my new favorite.
signed, houseofburks
Kit: I don't know if this was the funniest comment but flattery will get you everywhere. Thank you houseofburks.
That wraps it up for the week folks. I'll be on and off Twitter all weekend, feel free to swing by and say hi @blogdangerously.
See you Monday.
I told you that I read you!
Posted by: Ross Hamilton | April 09, 2010 at 12:51 PM
holy cow. You are hilarious. I just peed my pants at some of this sex nonsense.
Posted by: alysha | April 09, 2010 at 01:22 PM
LOL! I am new to the blog but enjoying the read immensely...the comments truly are hilarious!! I am not married but have had sex several times and do enjoy it so perhaps I will have insight from the single mom's point of view :)
Posted by: Judybopp | April 10, 2010 at 08:24 PM
I love you, that is all.
Posted by: Alissa | April 11, 2010 at 05:56 AM
I can see why you might need a rest now.
Posted by: Maddy | April 11, 2010 at 01:15 PM
I've totally already shared you with a friend. I would like to add, though, that I have been reading your past posts and one mentioned drinking heavily, so I decided to get up and get a drink. Snarfing rum and coke is decidedly more unpleasant than snarfing milk. The bubbles burn!
Posted by: Cara | April 24, 2012 at 09:19 PM