Back to Normal (yes, that's relative)

Ok, now that Carmen Electra has arrived and things are back to normal I'll try to keep my posts "appropriate."

Nah, I'm totally kidding, we both know that's not why we're here.

Funny story; one night last week I came to bed late because I was up blogging about vibrators - I don't know about you but reading, talking, writing about sex totally gets me THINKING about HAVING sex, if you know what I mean.  So when I got into bed I may or may not have intentionally made enough noise to wake my husband up.

It went something like this:

Him: "ungh"

Me: "oh, are you awake?  And ready for sex?"

Him: "ungh. Tired."

Me: "Darn.  Okay.  Wow, I really wish Carmen Electra were here."

Let me tell you that 8 seconds later he was all over me like WHITE ON RICE. 

Now, I'm not complaining, but in the morning he had the NERVE to say that I'd planned the whole thing.

"Planned it?!" I asked, incredulous.

"You know what you said." he said.

"Yeah!  I was saying I wished I had a BACK-UP PLAN."

Why is it that when you say to a guy, "I just read a great article, that I'd like to read to you, about how when different breeds of dogs have sex with others, you can't tell what the litter will look like." all they hear is, "...I'd like to.... have sex with... you."?

Okay, that wasn't really appropriate, I'll try harder tomorrow.

Comments

[Catherine]

If only the living Carmen Electra knew how she was helping to keep you satisfied! You go girl!

[Jo]

I think it's the word 'sex'. Once that's uttered everything else just sounds like white noise.

[Sarah P]

OK. With you on this one.

Last night, the husband was rubbing my back and I said, "That feels nice. Thanks."

I fell asleep.

45 MINUTES LATER, I had to tell him to stop rubbing my buttocks. 45 MINUTES. It frigging tickled. I told him several times.

I think he was trying to wake me up. He did. He's lucky I didn't clock him.

[Suz]

I would really like to know how all you people can even manage to have sex while kids are in the house. Even in the same neighborhood, for that matter. Specifically, 11 and 13 year olds who have the utter audacity to comment "the monkeys must have been visiting last night" while being driven to school. And we weren't even loud by any stretch of the imagination! Try not to steer into a ditch when you hear that one coming out of your little "sweetheart". I think I am still scarred.

[Meredithblumoff]

so, what you're saying here is even when you don't have some wonderfully titillating-slash-hysterical thing to say, i still can't get enough of your blog.

fine. be that way.

also: thanks.

[Wendyly]

I was supposed to tell you that I snarfed milk, but I got distracted and started searching for vibrators. I keep hearing great things about one called The Cowboy, but I haven't tracked him down yet.

[Ross Hamilton]

and when it was all over, did hubby ask just when Carmen was going to be making her appearance?