Vibrator Week

It's Vibrator Week here at Blogging Dangerously.

Partly because it's spring break for all the southern U.S. folks but mainly because my vibrator broke and until the replacement arrives it's all I'll be able to think about.

Please feel free to share your vibrator stories in the comments and yes, OF COURSE, you can post anonymously.  That's what we do here.

I'll start.

When I was 17 and going to Catholic School I found an ad for a battery operated "back massager."  Somehow I managed to get my hands on a money order and send in my order.

One night while my entire family was sitting at dinner, the doorbell rang.  My mother answered it.  It was a UPS package.  For me.

She opened it right there at the dinner table.  You should have seen the look on her face when that "back massager" came out of the box.  You could see the shock/horror/dilemma on her face.  Shock and horror are pretty self explanatory but the dilemma was because she didn't know if she should accuse me of the unspeakable and put the idea in my head and in the head of my brother and sister or if she should just say, "Gee, I hope your back feels better" and hand me the device and 3 "D" sized batteries.

She erred on the side of giving it to me and I guess, hoping that I was using it on my sore back.  (I really did have back problem in H.S.)

Of course, the back problems were nothing that a couple of mind-blowing orgasms couldn't fix.

Comments

[Loriwrites]

That is awesome. I'm 35 and I still live in fear my mother will find my sex aids, stowed in the closet, inside an old foot soak tub, in my own house.

[Mary P (Barnmaven)]

Years ago, before I'd ever owned a vibrator of my own, I helped my boss's wife move some furniture. They were getting a new bed, and I was buying their old Futon from them. I'd been to their house before, babysat their kids, stuff like that, but its not like we were super close. I can see as clear as day the expression on her face when we moved the bed and there was a "back massager" on the floor underneath it! I'll never forget it, and as a result I am extremely paranoid about making sure my OWN "back massagers" are carefully stowed away after I, uh, massage my back.

[Linda]

For whatever stupid reason, from the night before, I had left mine on the nightstand. Later in the day, my son (about sixteen at the time) came in to talk to me about something, and when he left my room, I noticed it still standing there at attention. If he saw it, he never said anything, just like I never mentioned the girlie magazine I found under his bed.

[Kim@SoManyKids]

Oh gosh, that is hilarious! My mom would have died laughing. My dad, however, would have been Horrified.

[Alexander Dope]

I have a similar story, but my parents were neither confused nor amused by the arrival of my Fleshlight. I understand that it's THEIR house and everything but, come on, I'm 43 years old already!

This comment transcribed from the original Twitter, with added vowels and apostrophes.

[downloadable08]

My closest thing to a horror story was the time I was getting my "back massager" all ready to go when my dad's boss called the house with a message for him. Sure enough, not two mintues after I had reluctantly cleaned everything up and put it away, my dad popped his head in to let me know that he'd come home early because he wasn't feeling well. I'm just glad I had the heads-up phone call, because my "back massager" at the time was LOUD!

Also, I am terrified that at some point in the future, this will happen to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VtzSDI8u2o

[DixieAngel_]

I have a 5 y.o. son. I keep my "back massager" in my room, safely tucked away from prying eyes, however this very weekend I decided I needed to have some "me time" in the living room while watching TV on the couch. Once finished, I had to hurry and get dinner out of the oven, so I stuffed it down into the couch cushions. After dinner, my dear son proceeds to burrow underneath the couch cushions, discovering my toy. After examining/removing the batteries, he calls me. Seeing the situation I grab everything up as quickly as possible. His parting word? "Weird."

[willendorfVenus]

I have a 12-year old son whose puberty meter is pegged at 11. A while back I had to replace my ladyparts massager -- I never use it on my back. What's up with that?,ladies? -- so I ordered from a company that adds "free gifts" to your order.

My son found the free pink erm, man-masturbator & appropriated it for himself. Not long after, he let me know that the cocoa butter lotion I have on hand is insufficient for his needs (TMI, dude).

Recently I caught the dog chewing on it in the middle of the living room.

[Jo]

Someone once gave me a vibrator shaped like a dinosaur for my birthday.

It was called a "shagasaurus" and as the name possibly suggests it was LOUD. I had to throw it away because I was so paranoid that someone would see it someday - or worse, hear it when it was in use *shudder*.

[Bee]

I got my first vibrator as a gift... and we had a great relationship. The vibrator and I, of course, the gift-giver went the way of the dodo relatively quick. But then I had guilt about using something for sexual pleasure that was given to me by someone I no longer liked. So I threw it away...

My poor little bunny :( I need to empower myself to go buy myself a replacement :D Because nothing pleases like battery power...

But god... if my mother knew I would die!!!

[Just Another Mother]

I could tell you about the time I gave my father a Hitachi Magic Wand, ignorant of the alternate uses, but my best vibrator story is about my mother.

About ten years ago, I was visiting her and she pulled me back to her room, tremendously excited about her newest purchase: a large, purple, vibrating dildo. Anatomically correct. She'd named it Barney. She had wanted a black one (which would have been dubbed Ranger), but sadly, that was back-ordered and she wasn't about to wait another damn day. She hadn't had a decent orgasm in three years. Because apparently my dad just wasn't very interested in sex anymore.

Reliving that conversation inspires an urgent need for a strong drink. Please excuse me.

[Ebaywickedlove]

I went on business travel, and our luggage was stolen from our rental car. Everyone was concerned about their lost jewelry, and I blurt out "Oh my God, my vibrator was in there!"

http://lifemusiclaughter.blogspot.com

[Becky]

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