BloggingDangerously

Reap, Sow, Whatev

Sometimes when I go into my boys' room at night to say good night they start twitching and saying, "oh god.  Oh no. Oh god."

Just because of that one time I went in and shut the door behind me and stood there in the dark.

Ok, maybe it was more than one time.

Doesn't everyone do that?

 

Breaking my Marriage Vows

You know how when you get married you agree to "in sickness and in health... etc."  What they don't tell you OUT LOUD is that you also agree that from this day forward you are solely responsible for 50% of the chores your spouse hates to do.  And that becomes mildly annoying but then you realize you NEVER HAVE TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH AGAIN so you're okay with it.

I am family tech support.  Which is funny because my family truly believes that I can't work the DVR.  But when technology fails and someone needs to figure it out, they call me.  Someday they're going to be like, "wait, why did I always have to get up and turn on the tv for you and put on your show."

Our FioS is currently down.  It's been intermittent but good enough for me to send email, blog and surf the web.  But if you're trying to play a multiplayer first person shooter game you're well, dead.

So yesterday my husband said, "the internet is wonky."  I said, "I know."  He said, "Can you fix it?" I said, "I tried."  He said, "what now?" I said, "Call Verizon."

Which, let's be clear, I knew was akin to saying, "Let me finish having sex with your best friend in my car and then I'll take care of it" because we agreed 17 years ago that he would never have to call Verizon again.  But no one ever asked us to say "I do" to that particular stipulation, and I was headed out so I reveled in the ambiguity and threw him to the wolves.

15 minutes later, after listening him try to talk to the automated system, and then get in a fight with the automated system, and then hang up on the automated system, I remembered that I REALLY HATE TAKING OUT THE TRASH.

So I followed up with a call to Verizon and they are coming Monday.

So much cheaper than divorce.

Life is a Party

You know how sometimes you're on antibiotics but your friends are like, "Come to the party anyway." And suddenly you're the only sober person in a room full of drunk people and all you can think is "aliens have taken their brains."

That is pretty much my existence right now in a house full of hormonal teenagers fueled by impotent rage who say things like, "Wow, that is the UGLIEST shirt I have ever seen, can you change and then take me to Starbucks?"