BloggingDangerously

Shtuff I Come Up With When I'm Jacked Up On Carbs

Last month I had this great idea for a new invention - it's a bar code scanner that you can use in your home.  You walk around your house scanning items that you purchased previously and the scanner magically turns those items back into the money you paid for them.

So, that GORGEOUS outfit you HAD TO HAVE that you now realize is for a 24 year old, not a 42 year old? SCANNED.

That expensive "color treated hair" shampoo that turned your hair green? SCANNED.

That 6 year old TREADMILL with 8 miles, 3 seasons worth of clothing and an inch of dust on it? SCANNED.

TONIGHT, while I was buttering two pieces of bread that I definitely didn't need to be eating at 10:30pm I realized that I could take my magic scanner to the next level.

Now you can actually scan a body part and have the "extra skin" as my daughters call it turned back into the food that created it.

Arm flab? Poof! CUPCAKES

Junk in the trunk? Poof! Bacon Double Cheeseburger

Muffin top? Poof! MUFFIN TOP!

Can you imagine what this invention will mean?  I'll be thin AND rich!

Which invention would you prefer?  And what would you scan first?

The Classic Facebook MindEff

So the truth is that I dont know any of you in real life - and honestly, that's on me.  This anonymous thing is my cross - one I feel I can't put down - even though I've met some truly amazing people here.

So while I have a number of Facebook Friends, the truth is that I've never had coffee with them and I'm certainly not up to speed on what's happening in the rest of their social circle.

But today a "friend" of mine shared a status that made my stomach sink, made my heart race, made my palms sweat.

"Friends," it began, "The doctors told us today that our baby girl died of chronic liver damage."

I would not list empathy as one of my top 3 qualities, in truth it may not make the top 10, but what parent can read that sentence and not pause in empathetic grief?

So when the next sentence explained that their DOG suffered liver damage from eating a poisonous plant I was both THRILLED that no child had died and still sorry for their loss.

But I have to admit that my sadness at their loss WAS mitigated by the fact that I felt like I had been emotionally SWINDLED.

Of course, it's totally my fault because it was a post by someone I dont know, shared by someone I dont know but WOW did it knock my socks off.

How about you?  Have you ever taken a social media post out of context?

 

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

On Saturday I got up early to take a test to join an organization for "smart people."

I'm not going to name the organization or tell you any more about it until I get my acceptance letter (or not.)

I remember back in high school telling everyone I was being dismissed early to go "get my drivers license" and then I realized that if I didn't get it, I had to go back to school and tell everyone.

So yeah, in 3 weeks remind me to tell you whether or not I'm smart.

Or you can probably answer than now considering how well I learned my lesson in High School.

Thank God I'm anonymous or the "smart people" would probably make their decision now without even scoring my test.

Anyway, in exchange for my $40 I got to take their "entrance exam" and I got a pencil with their name on it.

When I got home I showed the pencil to my husband and said, "I'd better get in, or this is a $40 pencil."

He looked at me, looked at the pencil and said, "So I guess that answers that question."

 

STOP CISPA

I'm back from vacation - and, more importantly, back from a bout of exhaustion that had me putting blogging at the bottom of my list for at least a week.

I was already to come back and tell you about my vacation and how we drove 16 hours to North Carolina and about how I was a basket case during the Boston bombing nightmare because if we weren't in North Carolina I would have made my family go to the marathon because I LOVE it.

But then the US House of Representatives passed CISPA and I realized it was more important to spend today asking you to call your Senators and ask them NOT to pass it.

You can read more about CISPA here but basically it would make it legal for internet companies to share all of your private information with the National Security Agency - WITHOUT A WARRANT.

It also prevents companies from making legally binding agreements not to share customer data.

So if Twitter says, "We won't share your data with the NSA." and then you tweet something that the NSA decides it doesn't like, the NSA can go to Twitter and ASK for all of your personal information as well as a record of everything you've EVER tweeted and Twitter can give it to them.

The NSA does not need a warrant and you have no recourse to sue Twitter because they were in violation of the agreement.

Theoretically Twitter could refuse to share the information but we've seen companies like Google cave to government pressure in places like China to protect their profits.

I will be back to blogging tomorrow.  Today, I'd like you to spend the next 5 minutes calling your Senator and letting them know that YOU are watching THEM.

Boston You're My Home...

I haven't posted in a few days because life got in the way.  First it was family, then it was work, then it was family again - with a little bit of emotional exhaustion thrown in for good measure.

Then we picked the kids up from school on Friday and hit the open road for North Carolina - which, frankly was better in theory than it has been in reality.  It's been a good vacation with lots of sleep, some exploration and hopefully, tomorrow, some sun.

I think we've determined that Wilmington, NC will not be our new home.  It's fabulous here but we haven't fallen in love.

And yesterday's events in Boston have me itching to get home.  I'm sorry that I wasn't there today to do something.

My family and I and everyone we know are ok.

We will be headed home in a day or so and I'll be back to posting.