I had a meeting this morning 3.5 hours from my house. Normally I would drive down the night before, stay at my favorite Courtyard by Marriott 10 minutes from the customer's facility and be happy as can be but I had to pick up a coworker at the train station in New Haven.
I know what you think when you hear "New Haven" - Yale right? Not stinking cesspool? Well, you're half right.
Before I left home I tried to book a hotel on my corporate travel site. The only problem was that all of the hotels on the first page were less than $50/night. I confess, that scared me.
So I asked my husband, "Do you think that $47/night is too cheap for a hotel."
"YES." he answered.
"Hmm." I said.
"It's a Days Inn" I said.
"Oh! Then you're fine." he said. "As long as it's a national chain."
FAMOUS LAST WORDS.
I pulled into the parking lot of the Days Inn at 11pm. It was dark, but more importantly it was dirty. You know those bi-level motor inns that you see on EVERY SINGLE episode of COPS, with the exterior hallway and domestic altercations?
Yeah, that.
I drove around the parking lot three times trying to locate the office and thinking, I am CLEARLY in the wrong place but I had already paid for the room and couldn't cancel.
I finally found the entrance, parked and went in.
There were 50 Chinese people sitting in the lobby having some sort of class. I'd like to tell you what sort of class it was but I don't speak Chinese. I CAN tell you that it was CLEARLY not an english class.
I walked past the 50 chinese people to the front desk. There was no one there. I stood there for 10 minutes and no one came. Finally I called the front desk and listened as the phone in front of me on the counter rang and rang. No one came.
I hung up and waiting a couple of minutes. I called again. No one came.
I went out to my car to decide what to do.
I tried to find the phone number for the travel agent but I couldn't. I called the Days Inn again and someone answered the phone.
I went back inside - past the 50 Chinese people - to the front desk.
I didn't immediately see the desk clerk but I could smell him from about 10 feet away. I GASPED it was so bad.
It's hard having a discussion with someone while holding your breath the entire time.
He told me that I would be staying in the "back building" and directed me around behind the main building.
I went back out to my car and drove around "back." It was a long, dark driveway up to a two story brick tenement building. There were no lights on and no cars anywhere. The highway overpass was about 50 feet from the building. I didn't feel safe getting out of my car in that spot. My room was on the first floor and anyone would have been able to break into my room without being spotted or heard.
I drove back down to the main office, walked past the chinese class and approached the desk (holding my breath.)
"Can you put me someplace less isolated?" I asked not really sure if his english would understand the word isolated.
He seemed to understand and moved me to another room.
I walked back past the chinese class, out to my car and drove to my room. This one was on the second floor. I went in and immediately realized I'd made a terrible mistake.
The room smelled musty and was freezing cold. I turned the electric heater on and the rattle was LOUD. I hung my briefcase and purse on the bathroom doorknob so they wouldn't touch anything. I hung my coat in the closet, making sure to tuck my sleeves into the pockets so they didn't brush the walls. I set up the little luggage stand in the middle of the room and put my suitcase on it.
Now nothing was touching the room - the only question was how I was going to make it through the night without touching anything either. I looked at the bed.
I'd been told to check hotel rooms for bedbugs and that they live in the edging of the mattress. I pulled the sheet back to check. BIG MISTAKE.
The sheet was stained. I hope that it was a REAL stain and not a recent addition. It would have been easy to tell by touching it but there was no way I was going to do that.
Rather than a mattress pad, there was a blanket under the sheet. It had clearly been there for a LONG, LONG time and was embedded with random hairs. There was a cigarette burn in the pillowcase.
The pillows were lumpy and misshapen and there was NO WAY I was putting my head on them.
I turned to Twitter and tweeted, "I'm surprisingly okay with Crabs but would prefer not to leave with Lice or Bedbugs."
Hey, don't judge, a thorough brazilian can cure crabs but I can't afford 17 exterminator visits and I can't wax my head.
I noticed that there was a 12" x 12" hole in the carpet in my room. It was behind the door and exposed the tack strip along the wall.
It's probably obvious that the "Free Wifi" wasn't working.
I thought to myself, "I can't expense two hotels in the same night - so if I leave, I'm going to have to forfeit the $50 for this room."
I HATE wasting money. (And yes, I did book a $47 hotel room while I was on an expense account so I am also an IDIOT.)
BUT then I looked down and noticed my freshly gel painted fingernails and said, I paid $50 for nail polish today. I can afford to sleep in a place where I feel safe and where I don't have to hope for crabs instead of lice.
And I left the room keys on the desk, grabbed my coat, my purse and my suitcase and raced out to my car.
I jumped in, locked the doors and found a Courtyard Marriott 3 miles away for $99 that our new travel program had 1) not shown me earlier and 2) said was "non-compliant."
Screw that, I booked it online and headed over. I have never been so happy to see an empty lobby with english speaking, odor free staff.
My room was clean, the wifi worked and the bed was some sort of Sealy slumber thingy that I crashed on as soon as my head hit one of the 5 pillows.
Some of my tweets Sunday night made me feel like an entitled bitch but the truth is that, in the end, I was grateful to be able to afford to walk away from a bad situation.
And because some of my income comes from this blog I wanted to say thank you to you for coming here and spending time with me every day. I sincerely appreciate it.
In honor of your support I am going to donate the cost of my hotel room, $99, to Rosie's Place from my ad revenue this month.
Because everyone should have a place that they can go.
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