This morning my daughter said she wouldn't kiss my husband goodbye because he wouldn't let her eat candy for breakfast.
Not one to be entrapped by the immaturity of a child, he fought back, "Oh yeah, if you don't give me a kiss goodbye I'm going to come to your classroom today in a clown costume."
My daughter is a little bit shy and I saw the fear in her eyes when he said it.
So did he.
Smelling fear, he went on. "And, I'm going to wear your pink superhero cape."
"And Cowboy boots."
"AND A SPEEDO."
"What's a speedo?" she asked.
She laughed. She stopped. The fear in her eyes turned to terror. "No you're not, right?"
"I am." he told her.
She looked at me.
"I think he'd look good." I LIED.
She was clearly terrified.
"Don't." she said.
"A clown wig, a superhero cape, Speedos and cowboy boots." he told her.
She pulled me aside. "He won't, will he?" She was sort of begging.
"Well," I told her. "I don't think your principal would appreciate that, do you?"
She shook her head no but I could tell she wasn't sure.
Later, my husband DID have to go to the school and he DID wear a clown wig but he and I decided that Speedos would likely get his CORI revoked so that's as far as he went.
When he walked into my daughter's classroom with the clown wig she looked up at him, froze and then rolled her eyes.
When I asked her about it later she said, "I was a little bit embarassed but all I could think was 'THANK GOD HE'S WEARING PANTS.'"