On Lying...

Thanks to everyone for the thoughtful (and respectful) responses.

The Title of my post WAS a mistake - I'd intended for it to say "...Don't Expect Me To Lie To Mine."

I caught it early but decided to leave it because -although I won't go around telling other people's kids that "Mommy and Daddy (or Mommy) are liars, I won't necessarily swear to whatever they've made up. One thing I've learned from this is that it's time to have the "Where babies come from" talk with my daughter.  "Make a Baby" is too open ended and if the kids are having this conversation I want to make sure my daughter is hearing it from me.

Dear Kate: You may have been 5 when your moms explained about sperm donors but I'm not going to lie I'm terrified of seeing my daughter picture "Mommy and Daddy inserting Tab A into slot B."  Because I'm told that the first question after you explain it is, "YOU DID THAT?"

Let's hope she never, ever, ever finds this blog.

Comments

[TechyDad]

My oldest son is 9 and I'm afraid that the time for The Talk is approaching fast. I want to do a better job at it than my father did. His "talk" consisted of asking me to watch the Playboy channel with him. (Ick.)

As long as I'm open and honest with him, I should be fine, but getting it right scares me to no end.

[Kate]

Oh, I think explaining the whole sex=babies thing is way harder than what my mom had to do. This was 30+ years ago so there wasn't even a turkey baster at home moment; it was strictly doctor visits. According to my mom I was completely unfazed by the discussion and didn't really have any questions, probably because the whole thing sounded so boring.

And in to response to the adoptee who posted after me yesterday; I think that all adoptions should be open and that the kid should know from day 1 who they are and where they came from. I know it's not exactly the same because I was raised by my bio mom but having an unknown, anonymous donor means that I don't know half of my history. Again, not exactly the same but to me it feels similar to what some adoptees have described about their experience (some of whom I know in person and some I only know from their writing).

[telesma]

Dude. Start with age appropriate factually accurate books on the topic. For little ones there's "Mommy Laid An Egg" and "How You Were Born" and for older ones there's "The Period Book" (updated edition, for girls)) and (for boys) "What's Going On Down There" and various others.

They are a good way to broach topics you're uncomfortable with, they make a good jumping off point for discussions, and they cover things you may forget to cover on your own. I just recommend reading them yourself before deciding whether to give them to your child (and to help you be prepared for questions).

Also, Planned Parenthood had a video for parents about talking to your kids about sex. They have other literature as well, all factual. They leave the moral/religious stuff up to you.