Do As I Say...

The best part about being a parent is the sheer hypocrisy that no one can call you on.

At least no one in a position of any authority.

While I DO try to avoid it as much as I can (They WILL be wiping my behind in about 40 years and I want them to splurge on the soft stuff) here are the top ten things I probably shouldn't have said...

1) "No, I'm not going running while you're at track - it's too hot."

2) "No, you CANNOT eat potato chips for breakfast, I'm just having one and then I'm putting the bag away."

3) "No you cannot watch tv.  Too much tv will rot your brain, and I'm in the middle of a show."

4) "Dont eat the icecream out of the container.  I just did that to see if it was still good."

5) "Yes you have to finish your dinner if you want dessert.  Daddy isn't finishing his dinner because he's saving room for dessert."

6) "Please go bring the groceries in from  the car.  I would but you're the ones who are going to eat them."

7) "NO you cannot watch Fight Club.  It's too violent.  I only taped it for Daddy."

8) This one comes from my friend on Twitter while I was writing this: "Waiting for my daughter to finish her 'good for you' breakfast so I can eat a poptart and drink a Coke in peace."

9) "You need to go to bed because I am tired and cranky."

10) No you cannot wear my lipstick.  Good girls don't wear "hooker red."

Comments

[The Borg Blog]

Hysterical!! I can't even pick a favorite among them - they're all great!

[Mrs. MidAtlantic]

I send Laura to bed because I am cranky ALL.THE.TIME. That one is my favorite. Also, "Do you want to watch Dora or read a book? You want a book? Ok, here's Dora."

[Clara]

I tell my son that it's his job to carry up the groceries because I'm the one who bought them and I'm the one who is going to put them away, he can carry them up our stairs for me.

My mom used the same lines on me, back in the day, only she made me put them away too.

[April]

Ahahaha! My mom would never let me wear red fingernail polish as a kid. She said red is for whores. Then when I was 17 she started getting her nails done, and they were red til the day she died 8 yrs later! Ahahahaha.

[One Funny Motha]

Loved the first one especially. And I see no problems what-so-ever with # 9.