I was at dinner last night with some coworkers and one of them was telling a story about one of his employees. Apparently the employee is "underperforming" and whenever the manager tries to coach him he agrees SO enthusiastically that the manager becomes completely disoriented.
For example, when the manager says, "We have quotas." The employee responds, "OF COURSE WE DO."
When the manager adds, "These are a very black and white measurement of success," the employee responds, "AS THEY SHOULD BE!"
When the manager goes on, "You're not making your objective." the employee takes it a step further, "That is COMPLETELY UN-AC-CEPT-ABLE!"
Manager: I see you didn't have any appointments last week
Employee: how, How, HOW am I going to make my number if I dont have any appointments!?!?
Manager: um, yeah.
The group of us at dinner were laughing at the way the employee turned the tables on his boss. The manager was laughing hardest of all.
I suggested that it was an excellent strategy and that we should all go home and use it in our personal lives.
The Manager mentioned that he had.
"And then I slept on the couch." he added.
His wife: Don't touch me.
Him: OF COURSE! I SHOULDN'T TOUCH YOU! ESPECIALLY ALL LIQUORED UP! WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT!?!??!!
I laughed so hard I'm pretty sure I completely embarassed myself in front of my boss's boss's boss.