And Then I Peed In My Pants - Which REALLY Impressed my Boss's Boss's Boss.

I was at dinner last night with some coworkers and one of them was telling a story about one of his employees.  Apparently the employee is "underperforming" and whenever the manager tries to coach him he agrees SO enthusiastically that the manager becomes completely disoriented.

For example, when the manager says, "We have quotas."  The employee responds, "OF COURSE WE DO."

When the manager adds, "These are a very black and white measurement of success," the employee responds, "AS THEY SHOULD BE!"

When the manager goes on, "You're not making your objective." the employee takes it a step further, "That is COMPLETELY UN-AC-CEPT-ABLE!"

Manager: I see you didn't have any appointments last week

Employee: how, How, HOW am I going to make my number if I dont have any appointments!?!?

Manager: um, yeah.

The group of us at dinner were laughing at the way the employee turned the tables on his boss.  The manager was laughing hardest of all.

I suggested that it was an excellent strategy and that we should all go home and use it in our personal lives.

The Manager mentioned that he had.

"And then I slept on the couch." he added.  

His wife: Don't touch me.

Him: OF COURSE! I SHOULDN'T TOUCH YOU!  ESPECIALLY ALL LIQUORED UP!  WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT!?!??!!

I laughed so hard I'm pretty sure I completely embarassed myself in front of my boss's boss's boss.

 

Comments

[Donna]

hysterical. totally sharing this one - hope you don't mind, i refer to you as my bestie when i share your stories...my neighbors wonder why they've never met you bc they think we've been friends for ages!

[Theborgblogger.blogspot.com]

I love that Donna thinks of you as a bestie. It warms the cockles of my heart (to the extent that Borgs have hearts, but that's a whole different thing).

I admit one of the reasons I fell in love with your blog is that you *COULD* be my best friend. Some of the stories you tell remind me of things she's gone through, and the only reason, frankly, that I know you're not (besides geography, etc.) is that I was with her during the period of some of your stories, so she couldn't be you (unless you deceptively changed the time frame!!).

But otherwise much of what you share is so universal in the human experience. Yet told with such a wonderful voice. Keep it up!

[Tawny]

Master of manipulation.

I do this all the time!

[Kez]

Hahahaha

[scott]

I think I just peed myself...alittle. :-)

[Stacy L. London]

Next time I'm in the hot seat in my personal life I'm definitely going to try this just for giggles.

[Lynda @ Hit The Road Jane]

LMAO I know someone at work like this!!

[DaddyRunsALot]

See, if I were in the coaching situation, I'd then head to "so we should probably let you go," and chuckle to myself when the guy said "of course you should," and then try to feel better about myself when I realize that I just kind of walked him into firing himself.

And, dear god, do I get handsy when I'm all liquored up.

[Paxochka]

Can't believe his wife didn't laugh. She's clearly no fun.