Lately it feels like I've spent more nights in hotel rooms than in my own bed.
This is not true but the time on the road feels endless and the time at home feels so short.
On the other hand, the hotel staff treat me like royalty.
Tonight I checked in late and was greeted with, "Hello again, Miss Kit! I've upgraded your room to a suite."
And SWEET it was.
It's the biggest hotel room I've ever seen in New York City. There are two 34" tvs, two closets, and a bathroom as big as most NYC hotel rooms.
There is a separate shower and a jacuzzi tub and I thought to myself, "SElf, THIS, is what life should be like."
And then I looked for a place to unpack my bag.
And I reconsidered.
Don't get me wrong, there were PLENTY of places to put my bag down. There was the funky post-modern chair:
And the UBER trendy chaise:
There was the red chair you can see in the photo above and a variety of other surfaces.
But when I looked at them I thought, "THIS would be a great place for a couple's weekend!" And I realized that I could not possibly be the only person who had ever thought that.
So I asked Twitter what they thought and the RESOUNDING response was that in order to avoid foreign DNA I should stay away from any horizontal surface and sleep in the bathtub.
Which I'm TOTALLY not going to do because someone special is waiting for me in the bed...
UPDATE: The "Dead bird" on my bed is a very expensive vibrator in a silk purse. Honestly. It's like you people don't even know me.