1. I called the children in for dinner the other night. My 3 yo came into the kitchen then stopped and said, "I'm going to go pause the tv." "Do you know how?" I asked her. "Um, you press the two widdle wines." she said - referring to the two parallel lines on the pause button. I laughed and shook my head. She can't pronounce her Ls but she can run a remote control like nobody's business.
2. The other night at dinner my husband knocked over an empty can of Pepsi. Without thinking he reached to quickly pick it up and ended up knocking over the FULL glass of Pepsi that he had poured it into. As ONE all FOUR of my children began singsonging, "Daddy needs a sippy cup, Daddy needs a sippy cup" over and over and over.
3. I saw a tweet last week about a married couple who were leaving their infant with the grandparents for the weekend and going to a HOTEL - and the wife was REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO... SLEEP. All I could think was, Single people dream about hotel sex. Married people dream about hotel SLEEP.
4. My grandparents were, like me, planners. Also they didn't like the thought of leaving their descendants saddled with expenses after their demise so they bought and paid for their own caskets, funeral service, etc. In addition, when my great aunt died, they had their OWN names pre-inscribed on thee tombstone with the birth dates and a dash. The end date would be filled in when the time came.
Now when my grandparents were married it was world war two and my grandfather was stationed in Germany. My grandmother took the train down to marry him before he shipped out. Then she came home to the house she grew up in for three years until my grandfather returned. When he came home he moved in with my grandmother, her two sisters and her brother. None of the siblings ever married and so they lived with my grandparents (and my mother and her sisters) until they died. My father and one of my great aunts did NOT get along even though they lived together in the same house for almost 40 years.
Personally, I think that my grandfather could not STAND the thought of spending eternity with this woman but when the time came and my grandfather passed away the deed to the cemetery plot where my great aunt was buried - and where he was SUPPOSED to be buried could not be found. ANYWHERE. Almost as if he'd quietly flushed it down the toilet.
As a Veteran he was entitled to a plot at a Military cemetery so plans were made hastily and he was interred at a beautiful cemetery on Cape Cod. My grandmother followed him there a couple of years later.
The other day I thought of that tombstone with their names precarved into it with the born date but no end date. They would be 102 now if they hadn't passed away. And on that tombstone they will never die.
5. The other day I was home alone at lunchtime and came down from my home office to get something to eat. I reached into the cupboard for a plate and - even though there was a blue plate on top - I reached for the pink plate beneath it BECAUSE I'M A GIRL. (I've lived with 5 year old princesses for too long!)
6. Last week my daughter insisted on wearing a winter nightgown decorated with candy canes and gumdrops. I told her, "Go tell daddy that mommy wants a candy cane but he can have the gumdrops." She did as instructed and I heard him choke as he called, "I'm going to hold you to that!"
7. My 8yo was at football practice last week and the coach was talking about the importance of all of the line backers moving forward as a unit. "Can anyone tell me why it's important?" the coach asked. No one answered so he tried explaining it again. Finally my son raised his hand and said, "I think what you're trying to say coach, is that a chain is only as strong as it's weakest link." "Exactly!" the coach said, then looked at the team and then looked back at my son and said, "But I don't think that's going to help."
8. Last week my husband and I were kissing passionately in bed. He tried to maneuver himself under me. "I don't want to be on top" I told him. "It hurts my hip.(sciatica)" "But I don't want to be on top" he told me, "it hurts my elbow.(tendinitis)" "WE ARE OLD." I told him. He agreed but we found a way to make it work.
9. Friday night my daughters were VERY, VERY, VERY cranky and were being very mean to each other. Finally the older one said to the younger one, "Do you want to play Barbies?" The younger one beamed! "YES!" she told her. "We can play Barbies, and be nice to each other and LOVE each other!" They ran off hand in hand.
10. Last week my husband was VERY MUCH IN THE MOOD. I was open to the idea but VERY TIRED. I'd gotten home from work late and we'd put the kids to bed but I hadn't eaten dinner yet. "I like that outfit" he said. "I'm sorry" I said, changing into comfortable clothes. I went down to the kitchen. I turned on the lights. He followed me. Our kitchen faces the street. He turned off the lights. I sighed. "Fine." We re-christened the center island. Then I made dinner. Later he said, "Thanks for being such a good sport."
I've had more flattering comments but none more accurate!