I'm sure you've all heard the old joke, "Why is the bride smiling?" and the punchline, "Because she knows she'll never have to give another blow job." And while there's some truth to that (sorry guys!) the reality is that most people are just as into sex after they get married as they were before, there are just a lot more things to get in the way so you have to be increasingly creative. Particularly after children arrive on the scene.
Then, in my signature vibrator style, I pointed out that "sometimes married sex is taking turns watching the kids while you each go 'take care of business' by yourselves.
This week I'll be sharing some of the more creative sexual moments of my marriage, as well as asking you to share yours.
Here's a great story that happened this weekend.
It was Friday night and the kids had gone to bed a little bit late so they'd fallen right asleep instead of getting up 50 times each. I'd finished my to do list for the week so I was surfing the web, not doing anything productive. My husband (of 9 years) was watching tv. It had been a while since we'd had sex because I'd been sick earlier in the week and I decided that it was the perfect night for him to meet Carmen Electra.
When I heard him turn off the tv I went into our bedroom and got ready for bed. When he came in I said, "I hope you're not too tired because I expect BIG things from you." He laughed and went to brush his teeth.
I grabbed Carmen, hopped into bed and turned off the lights. "I'm starting without you." I called.
He joined me a few minutes later and it was FANTASTIC. Like I said, it had been a while and I was ready, he was ready and it was PERFECT! So perfect in fact that at one point I went to scream out and realized that I'd COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN HIS NAME.
I paused. He noticed. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"I forgot your name." I told him.
He laughed and then stopped, "WHAT?!?"
"Shh" I told him, "Whatever-your-name-is, don't stop."
He looked at me, shrugged and continued on. AND IT WAS GOOD.