Imagine if I were talking about vibrators this much in my real life? To my kids, my boss, my mother, the clerk at the grocery store?
Thank goodness I have you.
Here is my second vibrator story. Don't forget to feel free to leave yours in the comment section!
When my husband and I were first dating he bought me a vibrating egg. Let me tell you, those things are AMAZING. I don't care who you are, man or woman, you NEED one of these things. Click here to see some options (NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Also, use code sexy8 for 50% off and free shipping!)
Anyway, one Friday night we're sitting on the couch and his cell phone rings. He answers it, talks for a minute and says, "Okay, see you soon." and hangs up. Then he looks at me and says, "I'm going to go out with the guys tonight."
I kind of flipped out. I mean, I didn't care if he wanted to go out with the guys but he could have let me know more than 5 minutes before he left so I could make plans and not sit there alone on a Friday night! (Am I wrong?)
After he left I called my friend Mike (aka ex-boyfriend) and asked him what he was doing. We ended up going out for dinner. (Note: I wasn't going to DO anything. I was just trying to make my boyfriend angry.)
My boyfriend called while we were waiting for our food to arrive. "Where are you?" he asked. "Who are you with?" he asked.
I told him and he hung up on me. I didn't realize it at the time but he had been calling from my apartment. As soon as he hung up I took one look at Mike and realized that I'd made a mistake. I threw money on the table for dinner and told Mike I'd catch up with him later. I walked home, hoping my boyfriend would come back there to get his things and we could talk it over.
When I got there I noticed that his things were already gone. I found a note on my desk that told me, "Do not go to my sister's house tomorrow (for a baby shower.) And I want my TAG watch back."
Beside the note was the vibrating egg that he had given to me, affectionately named "Mr. Chin" for the 'Made in China' emblazoned on his back. He had cut the cord that connected the egg to the controls. Mr. Chin was dead.
I ended up tracking my boyfriend down at a local bar. It was tense few minutes while we spoke. Suddenly I started laughing hysterically, tears streaming down my face. He looked at me, unable to see anything funny. "You," I started, but couldn't finish.
"What?" he asked, irritated.
"You k..." I tried to choke it out amid the convulsive laughter.
"What?" he asked again.
"You killed Mr. Chin" I managed to blurt out before I doubled up again with laughter.
His angry facade cracked when he smiled. "Do you want a beer?" he asked. And I knew everything was going to be okay.
P.S. Dear FTC, I am not getting paid for this. Love, Kit